Joy is a powerful emotion that can transform our lives in profound ways. Vibrating at 540hz on the Emotional Vibrational Frequency Scale, it can make us feel alive, connected, and fulfilled. However, many of us struggle to allow ourselves to fully experience joy. We deny ourselves this pleasure for a variety of reasons, often deeply rooted in fear, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs. In this post, we explore the reasons why we deny ourselves joy and how we can overcome self-sabotage to manifest more happiness and joy into our lives.  For tips on how to raise your vibration, see our YouTube video Manifesting Love:  Raise Your Frequency First.  

 

 

 

 

Watch the full Youtube video here.

 

 

 

 

The Roots of Self-Sabotage 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self-sabotage is a common pattern of behaviour that can have a significant impact on our lives. It often stems from childhood experiences and the messages we received about what we deserve and what we’re capable of. We may have been taught that we should work hard, be humble, and not expect too much from life. As a result, we may have developed limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in patterns of self-denial. 

 

 

 

 

The Forms of Self-Sabotage 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self-sabotage can take many forms, from procrastination and avoidance to negative self-talk and self-criticism. We may avoid taking risks or pursuing our dreams because we fear failure or rejection. We may downplay our achievements or dismiss compliments because we don’t feel worthy of praise.   

 

 

 

 

For me personally, from the first time my foot hit the school classroom step, I was a straight A student.  But over time, with the bar set so high from onset and no one praising my efforts along the way, this academic brilliance cultivated itself over the years into an ugly cocktail of low self-worth and rampant self-doubt.  Throw in a long-drawn-out messy divorce in my thirties and this so called ‘failure as a wife’ escalated those feelings of self-doubt into a need to build a wall around me to protect my already bruised and battered heart.  I used to joke that I had built a wall and then a moat and then another wall and moat around my heart, not realising that I was perpetuating a decade-long life of being single.  How the power of my words, thoughts and actions were keeping me stuck in those lower-level vibrations.  

 

 

 

 

This is because I’d created at an unconscious level, the limiting belief that I was no longer worthy of true everlasting love.  The kind that would not eventually let me down and break my heart all over again.  

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Self-Sabotage 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a decade on my own, I decided enough was enough and began seeking ways to overcome this cycle of self-sabotage.  

 

 

 

 

I am no different to anyone else who has been through the trauma associated with a relationship breakdown and in order to break this cycle, there needs to be a willingness to examine our beliefs and behaviours with honesty and compassion. We need to recognize when we’re engaging in self-sabotaging behaviour and challenge the beliefs that underlie it.   

 

 

 

 

It’s one thing to challenge the limiting beliefs, it’s another to overcome them completely.  

 

 

 

 

When I made that radical decision on that day back in April 2021 to do an NLP Practitioner course, little did I know that I would not only be completely transforming my life, but I would also go on to start changing hundreds of lives around me.  The biggest takeout from that course was that talk therapy alone, DOES NOT WORK.  To make swift, lasting and permanent change, you need to be removing the root cause driving the action, not just talk about it, bring it to the surface and hope that it will eventually work itself out.  

 

 

 

 

Our personal values can also be a contributing factor, so investing in values work to ensure they line up with our conscious goals is priceless.  For more information on values work, book a free chat today.  

 

 

 

 

Getting Started 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whilst I know that lasting change requires it to be at the sub-conscious and unconscious levels, you can start right now, even immediately after you read this blog by practicing self-compassion, acknowledging your strengths and achievements.  Don’t sit there in a year’s time wondering, ‘Why didn’t I start a year ago’.  The best time to start anything is right now. 

 

 

 

 

Conclusion 

 

 

 

 

Allowing ourselves to experience joy is a powerful act of self-love and empowerment. By overcoming self-sabotage, we can break free from the limitations that hold us back and embrace a more fulfilling and joyful life. We can cultivate a mindset of abundance and gratitude, and we can create a life that is aligned with our deepest values and desires.  Once you learn to do this for yourself, you will be amazed at how others will see and treat you differently.  

 

 

 

 

As always, remember that this is a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps at a time. Celebrate your progress, be kind to yourself, and enjoy the journey. 

 

 

 

 

Where to next? 

 

 

 

 

Ready to unlock the power of joy and break free from the limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage?  

 

 

 

Download our free eBook, 5 Steps to True Happiness, and discover how you can cultivate a more joyful and fulfilling life today.  

 

 

 

 

Alternatively, if you’re ready to dive right in and no longer wonder where you’ll be a year from now, book a free chat and start your journey towards greater happiness and well-being. Let’s connect and discover how we can help you live your best life. 

 

 

 

 

That’s it for now, I’m Leisa Q, your trusted Intuitive Happiness Coach and have a fabulous day. 

 

 

 

 

On the brink of emotional burnout? See our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships.  

 

 

 

 

Tired of not speaking the same language as your partner? See our blog Lost in Translation:  How to attract a partner who gets you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve all been there, treading water waiting for things to change.  Hoping and praying that we will wake up one day and what we’ve been avoiding will have magically disappeared.  

I know, I’ve been there too.  It was how I lived half my thirties and forties.  Looking back, I can’t believe I let myself lose 10 years of my life, holding onto the past and waiting for someone else to change, when all along, I should have been focusing on what I could change within me.  

Our minds love to be active, constantly overthinking, playing out scenarios that haven’t even happened yet.  But this is an emotional trap that should be avoided at all costs.  If it’s too late and you’re already there, then this blog is a must read for you.  

How I got stuck in emotional quicksand?
Watch the full Youtube video here.

For me, the chronic overthinking didn’t start until during my divorce.  It was a time when my marriage had fallen apart, I was struggling to pay the bills as a fulltime single mum, living off the parenting pension as I took myself back to university to get the degree I’d quit 20 years beforehand.  

Not one to be beaten, I’d attempted to help others going through similar circumstances by creating a blog called “Shit they don’t tell you when you get divorced” but this was short lived when I fronted up to my 3^rd child support tribunal in as many years and was confronted by print outs of my blog as evidence against me by my ex.  My whole world came crashing down on me again.  It seemed every attempt I made to get my life back on track just seemed to send me ten steps back.   

After that fateful day, I became so fearful of any interaction involving court, that I unconsciously developed a habit of playing out every word, every sentence and every scenario round and around several times in my head before I’d even open my mouth to speak.  My brain had firmly latched onto the limiting belief that no matter how hard I tried; I could not win.   

As my world continued to crumble around me, I found myself drowning in a sea of negativity and despair. Overwhelmed and lost, I sank deeper into a dark abyss of emotional quicksand.  To cope, I shut off my emotions and began relying more and more on my logical, analytical left side brain just to make it through the day.  

Right Brain Vs Left Brain: what you need to know 

In her Ted Talk video on YouTube, Dr Jill Bolte Taylor Ph. D. talks about how the right brain is all what allows us to stay present and prevent our minds from worrying about the future.  The right side of our brain learns through pictures and kinaesthetic movement and is how we consciously connect to energy and to those around us. 

Conversely, the left side of the brain is all about the past and the future and is designed to take all the 11 million bits of information per second that we take in each and every day and start sifting and sorting it, categorising and organising all that information, assigns it meaning based on everything in our past and then projects into the future all of our possibilities.   

Clearly this constant worry during my divorce had resulted in losing my ability to easily and effortlessly tap into the right side of my brain.  Shutting off my emotions was definitely not the answer and all it did was result in feeling like I had a physical vice wrapped tightly around my heart.  

Health effects of negative emotions trapped in the body 

While I had successfully pushed my emotions deep down inside of me, they were gone, but not forgotten – by my unconscious mind that is.  

Trapped negative emotions in the body can have significant health implications. When we experience intense negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety, our body responds by releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. If we don’t properly process and release these emotions, they can become trapped in the body and lead to a range of health issues. 

I had no idea at the time that the physical ailments that began plaguing me were as a direct result of my desperate plea to ignore them.  

Before I knew it, I was chronically fatigued, walking around with brain fog, had an unknown burning sensation in an area I’d rather not divulge, and I was down to about 50kg because my body was now intolerant to over 34 different foods. This was the start of a decade long health crisis that I spent nearly $10,000 trying to fix mentally, physically and spiritually.  

Fast forward to 2021 and it all began to make sense when during my Time Line Therapy ® and Hypnosis training, I learned how chronic stress caused by trapped negative emotions can weaken the immune system, increase inflammation in the body, and contribute to the development of conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes.  

In addition to physical health problems, trapped negative emotions can also manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and digestive issues. These physical symptoms can further exacerbate our emotional state, leading to a vicious cycle of emotional and physical distress. 

Emotional suppression has also been linked to depression and anxiety disorders. 

It was little wonder I was barely functioning.  I had been in fight and flight mode for so many years my body, (even if my brain did not agree), had accepted this to be a normal state.  

Digging yourself out 

The road to recovery can seem ominous, but it’s essential to take care of our emotional wellbeing and find healthy ways to process and release negative emotions. This can include practicing mindfulness and meditation, engaging in physical activities like exercise or yoga or by seeking out the professional services of a therapist or coach. By taking care of our emotional health, we can not only improve our overall wellbeing but also prevent the development of long-term health issues.  

Here are five tips for climbing your way out of emotional quicksand  

1. Practice mindfulness: Stay present and focus on the moment.  By learning to accept your emotions without judgement, you can avoid getting bogged down in negative thoughts and feelings.   

2. Reach out to others: Whether it’s talking to friends and family or seeking the help of a professional therapist or coach, having a support system can make a big difference in your ability to cope. As humans we are not biologically designed to go through life alone, so stop trying to do it on your own.  

3. Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Self-care is essential for managing your emotions.  If you’re struggling with sleep in particular and want to try a natural alternative, why not try hypnosis.  Book in for a free chat today.  

4. Learn to observe your emotions: By recognising that emotions are physical sensations in the body, you can learn to control them and respond to them in a healthier way.  

5. Be patient: It takes time to overcome emotional quicksand, but every small step forward is a victory.  Be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. 

Conclusion 

In conclusion, emotional quicksand can be an overwhelming and difficult experience, but it is possible to dig yourself out.  I’m living proof of that.  Negative emotions can have serious consequences on our physical health, as well as our emotional wellbeing, so it’s important to find healthy ways that suit you and release them.   

Remember that recovery is a journey and it’s never too late to start. All it takes is that decision to decide that you don’t want to remain where you are.  From the minute you declare to yourself that you want better than what you’ve been living, your unconscious mind and the law of attraction will begin to support your decision.  

Ready to explore new ways to escape your emotional quicksand?  

Download our free eBook, 5 Steps to True Happiness, and start your journey today!  

For tips on how to avoid emotional burnout see our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships.  

That’s it for now, I’m Leisa Q, your trusted Intuitive Happiness Coach and have a fabulous day. 

We’ve all been there.  You’re out at a bar, restaurant or maybe just grabbing a morning coffee.  

Your eyes meet and it’s like BAM!  Love at first sight.  Or is it? 

You exchange numbers, organise a date and before you know it, that initial spark is now a full-blown bonfire.  You get carried away by the heady rush of those first few weeks, months or even years, but then… 

The little things that you used to think were ‘cute’ are quickly escalating into being just damn annoying.  

You don’t understand where things went wrong.  Why doesn’t my partner get me anymore?  It’s like we’ve started speaking a different language.  Before you know it, you’re arguing over the pettiest of things, passing one another like ships in the night.  Until crunch time comes and it’s either shape up or ship out.  These days, with the ease at which we can just jump on a dating app and swipe right or swipe left, many seem to be opting to jump ship and begin another new cycle of trying to find ‘The One’. 

If this sounds like you, then listen up.  

Watch the full Youtube video here.

Stop seeking outside yourself for the answers. 

So what went wrong?   

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Partner 

First of all, let’s talk about why you may be in this repeating cycle of always attracting the wrong partner.  

It’s important to understand that if you have a string of failed relationships behind you or you’ve stuck it out unhappily in the same relationship, often wondering why, then it’s obvious that you’ve not uncovered the lessons that are being put in front of you.   

Too often we seek out a partner to fill a void or to make us happy.  But is this really fair?  Placing the expectation on someone else to make us happy or worse, over giving in the hopes that our partner will love us can leave you and them feeling exhausted.   

For tips on how to avoid emotional burnout see our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships. 

In my experience, personally and professionally as an Intuitive Happiness Coach, I am going to say “Absolutely not”.  

While you continue to refuse to give love and acceptance to yourself first, you’ll never find someone who will compliment your life in the way you desperately seek.  

The Importance of Language in Relationships 

Language and our ability to communicate with others plays a large part in our ability to form strong relationships. When you speak the same language as your partner, you can connect on a deeper level and truly understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. 

So, how do you attract a partner who speaks your language?  

The key is to focus on yourself first. This means taking the time to work on yourself, improve your communication skills, and become the best version of yourself.   

How can we expect to attract a partner who speaks our language if we don’t even know our own communication style? 

Remember, only 7% of all communication is verbal, so it’s important to be mindful of your tone, body language and the words you use when communicating with others.   

How to Attract a Partner Who Speaks Your Language 

One of the most important things you can do to attract a partner who speaks your language is to be confident and comfortable in your own skin. This means accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all. When you’re comfortable with yourself, you radiate a positive energy that is attractive to others. 

When you achieve this vibrational level, you will become a manifesting magnet for all the good things that you want to attract into your life, including love. 

It’s also important to be open-minded and flexible.  

Humans process over 11 million bits of information per second and we each have a unique way of processing to sort and sift that information. It is highly unlikely that you will ever come across someone who speaks your exact language, but having an awareness and understanding of yours and then applying that knowledge to understanding theirs will go a long way to a happy and harmonious relationship.  

So be willing to step outside your comfort zone when it comes to dating and relationships. You never know where or when you might meet someone who is the perfect match for you. 

Conclusion:  Finding the Right Partner 

In conclusion, attracting a partner who speaks your language is all about focusing on yourself, being clear about what you’re looking for, being open-minded and flexible, and using language to your advantage. By doing these things, you can increase your chances of finding a partner who shares your language and your values. 

Ready to attract a partner who speaks your language?   

Download our free eBook, 5 Steps to True Happiness, and start your journey today! 

For tips on how to avoid emotional burnout see our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships. 

That’s it for now, I’m Leisa Q, your trusted Intuitive Happiness Coach and have a fabulous day.