We’ve all been there, treading water waiting for things to change. Hoping and praying that we will wake up one day and what we’ve been avoiding will have magically disappeared.
I know, I’ve been there too. It was how I lived half my thirties and forties. Looking back, I can’t believe I let myself lose 10 years of my life, holding onto the past and waiting for someone else to change, when all along, I should have been focusing on what I could change within me.
Our minds love to be active, constantly overthinking, playing out scenarios that haven’t even happened yet. But this is an emotional trap that should be avoided at all costs. If it’s too late and you’re already there, then this blog is a must read for you.
How I got stuck in emotional quicksand?
Watch the full Youtube video here.
For me, the chronic overthinking didn’t start until during my divorce. It was a time when my marriage had fallen apart, I was struggling to pay the bills as a fulltime single mum, living off the parenting pension as I took myself back to university to get the degree I’d quit 20 years beforehand.
Not one to be beaten, I’d attempted to help others going through similar circumstances by creating a blog called “Shit they don’t tell you when you get divorced” but this was short lived when I fronted up to my 3rd child support tribunal in as many years and was confronted by print outs of my blog as evidence against me by my ex. My whole world came crashing down on me again. It seemed every attempt I made to get my life back on track just seemed to send me ten steps back.
After that fateful day, I became so fearful of any interaction involving court, that I unconsciously developed a habit of playing out every word, every sentence and every scenario round and around several times in my head before I’d even open my mouth to speak. My brain had firmly latched onto the limiting belief that no matter how hard I tried; I could not win.
As my world continued to crumble around me, I found myself drowning in a sea of negativity and despair. Overwhelmed and lost, I sank deeper into a dark abyss of emotional quicksand. To cope, I shut off my emotions and began relying more and more on my logical, analytical left side brain just to make it through the day.
Right Brain Vs Left Brain: what you need to know
In her Ted Talk video on YouTube, Dr Jill Bolte Taylor Ph. D. talks about how the right brain is all what allows us to stay present and prevent our minds from worrying about the future. The right side of our brain learns through pictures and kinaesthetic movement and is how we consciously connect to energy and to those around us.
Conversely, the left side of the brain is all about the past and the future and is designed to take all the 11 million bits of information per second that we take in each and every day and start sifting and sorting it, categorising and organising all that information, assigns it meaning based on everything in our past and then projects into the future all of our possibilities.
Clearly this constant worry during my divorce had resulted in losing my ability to easily and effortlessly tap into the right side of my brain. Shutting off my emotions was definitely not the answer and all it did was result in feeling like I had a physical vice wrapped tightly around my heart.
Health effects of negative emotions trapped in the body
While I had successfully pushed my emotions deep down inside of me, they were gone, but not forgotten – by my unconscious mind that is.
Trapped negative emotions in the body can have significant health implications. When we experience intense negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety, our body responds by releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. If we don’t properly process and release these emotions, they can become trapped in the body and lead to a range of health issues.
I had no idea at the time that the physical ailments that began plaguing me were as a direct result of my desperate plea to ignore them.
Before I knew it, I was chronically fatigued, walking around with brain fog, had an unknown burning sensation in an area I’d rather not divulge, and I was down to about 50kg because my body was now intolerant to over 34 different foods. This was the start of a decade long health crisis that I spent nearly $10,000 trying to fix mentally, physically and spiritually.
Fast forward to 2021 and it all began to make sense when during my Time Line Therapy ® and Hypnosis training, I learned how chronic stress caused by trapped negative emotions can weaken the immune system, increase inflammation in the body, and contribute to the development of conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes.
In addition to physical health problems, trapped negative emotions can also manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and digestive issues. These physical symptoms can further exacerbate our emotional state, leading to a vicious cycle of emotional and physical distress.
Emotional suppression has also been linked to depression and anxiety disorders.
It was little wonder I was barely functioning. I had been in fight and flight mode for so many years my body, (even if my brain did not agree), had accepted this to be a normal state.
Digging yourself out
The road to recovery can seem ominous, but it’s essential to take care of our emotional wellbeing and find healthy ways to process and release negative emotions. This can include practicing mindfulness and meditation, engaging in physical activities like exercise or yoga or by seeking out the professional services of a therapist or coach. By taking care of our emotional health, we can not only improve our overall wellbeing but also prevent the development of long-term health issues.
Here are five tips for climbing your way out of emotional quicksand
1. Practice mindfulness: Stay present and focus on the moment. By learning to accept your emotions without judgement, you can avoid getting bogged down in negative thoughts and feelings.
2. Reach out to others: Whether it’s talking to friends and family or seeking the help of a professional therapist or coach, having a support system can make a big difference in your ability to cope. As humans we are not biologically designed to go through life alone, so stop trying to do it on your own.
3. Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Self-care is essential for managing your emotions. If you’re struggling with sleep in particular and want to try a natural alternative, why not try hypnosis. Book in for a free chat today.
4. Learn to observe your emotions: By recognising that emotions are physical sensations in the body, you can learn to control them and respond to them in a healthier way.
5. Be patient: It takes time to overcome emotional quicksand, but every small step forward is a victory. Be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.
In conclusion, emotional quicksand can be an overwhelming and difficult experience, but it is possible to dig yourself out. I’m living proof of that. Negative emotions can have serious consequences on our physical health, as well as our emotional wellbeing, so it’s important to find healthy ways that suit you and release them.
Remember that recovery is a journey and it’s never too late to start. All it takes is that decision to decide that you don’t want to remain where you are. From the minute you declare to yourself that you want better than what you’ve been living, your unconscious mind and the law of attraction will begin to support your decision.
Ready to explore new ways to escape your emotional quicksand?
Download our free eBook, 5 Steps to True Happiness, and start your journey today!
For tips on how to avoid emotional burnout see our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships.
That’s it for now, I’m Leisa Q, your trusted Intuitive Happiness Coach and have a fabulous day.