The Pain we hide on Mother’s Day
Since my first son was born, I used to joke that all I wanted for Mother’s Day was a day off from my kids. Now this statement might sound absurd to some, but to many, it’s probably going to resonate with your thinking as a Mum at one time or another. Especially if, like me, you’ve been doing this gig on your own for quite some time. And I’m not just talking about the single Mum’s, because you can still be in a relationship and feel like you’re doing it on your own. Hell, when my Ex walked out, I was slightly relieved because now I only had to look after two kids, instead of three.
This will be my twelfth year in this life as a Mum and my ninth as a fulltime single Mum. Mother’s Day is always a bittersweet reminder for me, for my marriage fell apart literally days before Mother’s Day all those years ago. I still remember opening a present from my boys that my own Mum had helped them pick out, bursting into tears for the joy and sadness I felt all rolled into one.
Fast forward nine years, and I’m still experiencing that combination of joy and sadness, but these days it has nothing to do with my previous marriage or husband. These days, the joy is felt when my boys now old enough to pick out their own presents, cook me breakfast in bed and surprise me with a beautiful gift. But the sadness is now felt because they no longer seem to need me on this day. To them, the Xbox and their friends seems of a higher priority.
As the Mum of two tweenagers, I knew this day was coming, but now that it’s finally arrived, I am now longing for the days when I was their world. When we used to do everything together and wherever I went, they came too.
Today of all days, when all attempts to get them out of the house to enjoy some time together were met with resistance, well, that was it, I just lost the plot. What a terrible Mother I must be to yell and scream at my kids at how selfish and ungrateful they are. But truth be told, in today’s modern society of disconnected families, it’s probably what many Mother’s are thinking, but too scared to admit for fear of being judged. Today of all days, I no longer feel the need to put on the show of being a perfect Mum who’s got their shit together. Because I am just like all those other Mum’s out there, doing the best I can with the life circumstances I find myself navigating each and everyday.
As a new Mum, I read all the books, trying to arm myself with the knowledge I needed to make sure I got it right. But one thing I remember my own Mum telling me, that has stuck with me all these years “All these books are great, but a baby can’t read a book so you’ll just have to figure it out as you go along”.
So, this is a shout out to all the amazing Mums out there just trying to figure it out as they go along, you are doing an amazing job.
Tag and share this with a Mum who you think is doing a great job.
Love and Gratitude
Leisa