Joy is a powerful emotion that can transform our lives in profound ways. Vibrating at 540hz on the Emotional Vibrational Frequency Scale, it can make us feel alive, connected, and fulfilled. However, many of us struggle to allow ourselves to fully experience joy. We deny ourselves this pleasure for a variety of reasons, often deeply rooted in fear, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs. In this post, we explore the reasons why we deny ourselves joy and how we can overcome self-sabotage to manifest more happiness and joy into our lives. For tips on how to raise your vibration, see our YouTube video Manifesting Love: Raise Your Frequency First.
Watch the full Youtube video here.
The Roots of Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern of behaviour that can have a significant impact on our lives. It often stems from childhood experiences and the messages we received about what we deserve and what we’re capable of. We may have been taught that we should work hard, be humble, and not expect too much from life. As a result, we may have developed limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in patterns of self-denial.
The Forms of Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage can take many forms, from procrastination and avoidance to negative self-talk and self-criticism. We may avoid taking risks or pursuing our dreams because we fear failure or rejection. We may downplay our achievements or dismiss compliments because we don’t feel worthy of praise.
For me personally, from the first time my foot hit the school classroom step, I was a straight A student. But over time, with the bar set so high from onset and no one praising my efforts along the way, this academic brilliance cultivated itself over the years into an ugly cocktail of low self-worth and rampant self-doubt. Throw in a long-drawn-out messy divorce in my thirties and this so called ‘failure as a wife’ escalated those feelings of self-doubt into a need to build a wall around me to protect my already bruised and battered heart. I used to joke that I had built a wall and then a moat and then another wall and moat around my heart, not realising that I was perpetuating a decade-long life of being single. How the power of my words, thoughts and actions were keeping me stuck in those lower-level vibrations.
This is because I’d created at an unconscious level, the limiting belief that I was no longer worthy of true everlasting love. The kind that would not eventually let me down and break my heart all over again.
After a decade on my own, I decided enough was enough and began seeking ways to overcome this cycle of self-sabotage.
I am no different to anyone else who has been through the trauma associated with a relationship breakdown and in order to break this cycle, there needs to be a willingness to examine our beliefs and behaviours with honesty and compassion. We need to recognize when we’re engaging in self-sabotaging behaviour and challenge the beliefs that underlie it.
It’s one thing to challenge the limiting beliefs, it’s another to overcome them completely.
When I made that radical decision on that day back in April 2021 to do an NLP Practitioner course, little did I know that I would not only be completely transforming my life, but I would also go on to start changing hundreds of lives around me. The biggest takeout from that course was that talk therapy alone, DOES NOT WORK. To make swift, lasting and permanent change, you need to be removing the root cause driving the action, not just talk about it, bring it to the surface and hope that it will eventually work itself out.
Our personal values can also be a contributing factor, so investing in values work to ensure they line up with our conscious goals is priceless. For more information on values work, book a free chat today.
Whilst I know that lasting change requires it to be at the sub-conscious and unconscious levels, you can start right now, even immediately after you read this blog by practicing self-compassion, acknowledging your strengths and achievements. Don’t sit there in a year’s time wondering, ‘Why didn’t I start a year ago’. The best time to start anything is right now.
Allowing ourselves to experience joy is a powerful act of self-love and empowerment. By overcoming self-sabotage, we can break free from the limitations that hold us back and embrace a more fulfilling and joyful life. We can cultivate a mindset of abundance and gratitude, and we can create a life that is aligned with our deepest values and desires. Once you learn to do this for yourself, you will be amazed at how others will see and treat you differently.
As always, remember that this is a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps at a time. Celebrate your progress, be kind to yourself, and enjoy the journey.
Where to next?
Ready to unlock the power of joy and break free from the limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage?
Download our free eBook, 5 Steps to True Happiness, and discover how you can cultivate a more joyful and fulfilling life today.
Alternatively, if you’re ready to dive right in and no longer wonder where you’ll be a year from now, book a free chat and start your journey towards greater happiness and well-being. Let’s connect and discover how we can help you live your best life.
That’s it for now, I’m Leisa Q, your trusted Intuitive Happiness Coach and have a fabulous day.
On the brink of emotional burnout? See our blog Setting Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships.
Tired of not speaking the same language as your partner? See our blog Lost in Translation: How to attract a partner who gets you.